Here is how you can lose a little control and trust more

Here is how you can lose a little control and trust moreHere is how you can lose a little control and trust moreNot everything that matters can be controlled, and notlage everything that can be controlled matters.Thats the paradox with life we want things ur way, yet, most of the times, things take on a life of their own. What if we stop trying to control everything? And start trusting ur ability to adapt?Letting go of control doesnt mean not caring. But keeping our minds and hearts open - to make room for the unexpected.As Shakespeare wrote, Come what come may. Time and the hour runs through the roughest day. One way or another, whats going to happen is going to happen.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreThe illusion ofsafetyHuman beings crave for structure - we fear things can easily fall apart.Thats why most people love routines. They provide a familiar order to our daily lives . When everything happens within specific rules and parameters, we experience a sense of control.In times of crisis, people buy tougher dogs, switch to more authoritarian churches, and prefer comics with characters that are powerful and strong. Being in control makes us feel safer.The Seventh-day Adventist Church, for example, gained 68 percent more parishioners during the Depression than it had during good times. The sales of attack dogs - like Doberman, German Shepherds, and similar - dramatically rose during the tense period of 196770 compared to before that.Gaining more control over our behavior makes us feel safer too. Take for example the schlag of gadgets and apps that monitor everything from caffeine intake, mood swing, changes in concentration, quality of sleep or productivity - technology provides the illusion of control.Qualitative data is seductive - we feel we can rule over everything that we can measure.The less we feel in control, the less willing we are to take a risk, said Paul Slovic, professor of psychology at the University of Oregon.Having control allows you to take on risks you might not take otherwise. Before embarking on an extreme activity, you can measure and judge if the risk is acceptable or not.However, what can be measured has its limits. And those limits are narrower than wed like to believe.As professor Roger Martin,wrote, Given the complexity we face on a regular basis, we naturally seek ways to understand and control whatever we can.The dean of the University of Toronto uses the mapping of the human genome as an example. The scientists who predicted it would solve the worlds medical mysteries had to admit that the entire project had raised more questions - about the complicated interaction among genes - than it answered.The illusion of control makes us feel safe because the world seems more predictable, not because we actually control it.The controlling mindLife is to be lived, not controlled and humanity is won by conti nuing to play in face of certain defeat.? RalphEllisonBeing in control might bring you serenity at the expense of driving everyone else crazy.Control is a signal that we dont trust ourselves, others, and the universe. We believe that, if we dont intervene, everything and everyone will collapse. Thats because we think the world revolves around us - which, of course, it doesnt.Controllers suffer from a deceiving arrogance - they think they can outsmart reality.There are two categories of controlling mindsControl FreaksandWorry Warts.Control Freakshave ahigher than average need for control. They believe that, if they can gain control over external events or other people, theywill avoid suffering - control can prevent bad things from happening to them.Worry Warts, on the other hand, worry too much about everything - from natural diseases to random issues. They love to consider the worst-case-scenario as the most probably one.Wanting to control is the same as wanting to be controlled . We become dependent on what we want to dominate - we end being wrapped around its finger.Control is a defense mechanism to protect our status quo. We are afraid of potential adverse outcomes. By trying to manage how everything works and everyone behaves, we turn our mind into a controlling one.The paradox of control is that the fear of losing something doesnt allow us to enjoy what we are trying to protect. Becoming over-protective usually backfires. Behaving as a control-freak harms your relationships - you increase the chance of losing those you love the most.Letting go requiresintellectual humility - you are not smarter than everyone and everything else.Steve Maraboli said, Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you dont.The fear of a potential loss is natural. But, trying to control our lives limits us. We get stuck in what feels familiar. Thus, we dont benefit from the magic of life - we cant make space for surprises or unexpected opportunities.I know. We dont do it on purpose. Being a controlling mind feels out of your control, right?Try autonomy, notcontrolGuess what the most important contributor to happiness is?Money? Fame? Beauty? A hot sex life? No, no, no, and no.According toThe Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,the feeling that your habits and activities are self-chosen and self-endorsed matters much more than your looks, wealth or sexual life.Autonomy is the best giftyou can give yourself and others.Additionalresearchvalidates the notion that happiness is linked to a sense of control over ones life - the more you perceive yourself to be in control, the better you feel.Happiness is about being in charge of your life, not about controlling every aspect of it.Epictetus wrote, Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.Traditionally, the assumption was that people wanted a job promotion to be in control over others. Power meant to be in charge (of others) - to influence what other people do and how they do it.A recentstudysuggests that people who desire more power are looking to control one thing - themselves.Researchers from various universities evaluated two different notions of power - power asinfluenceand power asautonomy.Poweras influenceis expressed in having control over others. In contrast, poweras autonomyis a form of power that allows people to ignore or resist external influences - they can shape their own destiny.The researchers wanted to address a longtime question Which of those things, influence or autonomy, would satisfy peoples desire for power? The analysis of nine studies across Europe, the United States, and India demonstrated the primacy of autonomy.People desire power not to be a master over others, but to be a master of their own domain - they want to control their own fate.As George Bernard Shaw wrote, To be in hell is to dri ft to be in heaven is to steer.Autonomy - the feeling that you control your choices - is not the same as the need to control everything and everyone in your life.Theres nothing wrong with seeking control in your life if you can do it in a balanced way. Avoid the illusion of control - that you can measure things doesnt mean you can master them.Life is what happens when we are busy making other plans as John Lennon wrote. When you feel the urge to control everything and everyone, ask yourself What am I afraid of? Embrace surprises - not everything unexpected is negative.Learn to improvise. Kenneth Gergen invites us to play with purpose. The American professor and psychologist believes that we must improvise more in all our relationships. When we do it well, it increases our joy, harmony, and vitality.Freedom is the only worthy goal in life.Choose how you live your life, what you want to do, and how you want to do it - without the influence of others. Learn to identify what you ca n change from what you cannot. Dont try to control whats beyond your influence - autonomy is about making choices.Do you want to regain control of your life?Set yourself free from the need to control everything - whats going to happen is going to happen.This article originally appeared on Medium.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

New ASME Press Book Provides Career Advice for Technical Professionals

New ASME Press Book Provides Career Advice for Technical Professionals New ASME Press Book Provides Career Advice for Technical Professionals A unique new book from ASME Press, Thriving in the 21st Century Economy Transformational Skills for Technical Professionals, presents an innovative and entrepreneurial approach to career development forscience, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) professionals.The 212-page book was written by ASME Fellow K. (Subra) Subramanian and U. Srinivasa Rangan. Subramanian is president of the STIMS Institute in Lexington, Mass. Rangan is the Luksic Chair professor of strategy and global studies at Babson College in Wellesley, Mass.According to the authors, self-help is the best help and technical professionals should therefore plan strategically for their future - much in the way that businesses and corporations rely on a strategic approach for long-term survival and success. Throughout the book, Subramanian and Rangan incorporate concepts o f systems thinking, as well as global knowledge, to develop strategic solutions to identified industry needs.We departure with the premise that the professionals of the 21st century do not merely respond to the request for services, Subramanian and Rangan write in the introduction for Thriving in the 21st Century Economy. Instead, they identify a need, describe it as an opportunity with a solution, develop the complete solution, implement it, and make sure the impact is fully realized. This book outlines the need for this change in outlook and how to go about that.The books chapters cover a variety of topics relating to the authors belief that successful career development in todays job market involves relying on all of the skills and knowledge you have acquired since high school and using them in a way that makes you seem relevant and valuable to potential employer. Chapters include Workplace Transformation The Impact of Globalization and Business Model Revolution A New Economic Or der From Binary Company to Binary Economy Transformational Skills The Tools Necessary for Sustainable Jobs and Careers Common Language and Core Capabilities Skills to Identify and Foster New Solutions Knowledge Integration Skills to Develop New Solutions By Integrating Knowledge From All Available Resources and Achieving the Maximum Impact Across the Globe Transformational Skills to Exploit New Solutions.Thriving in the 21st Century Economy is already receiving high praise from readers. This book is very timely for understanding the link between education and employment in a binary economy, said James C. Spohrer, director, IBM University Programs Worldwide. The authors provide a lucid framework for technical professionals to become T-shaped systems thinkers, who can get in-depth as well as work on a wider bandwidth, as required. In addition, Leonard Schlesinger, president of Babson College, calls the book a practical road map for both professionals and policymakers committed to deve loping a critical skills infrastructure for the 21st Century.Thriving in the 21st Century Economy Transformational Skills for Technical Professionals is available in a hardcover print edition or as an e-book, each priced at $44 for members, and $59 for nonmembers. The book can be purchased through ASME.org, at www.asme.org/shop/books, or by contacting ASME Customer Care at (800) 843-2763 or (973) 882-1170. For more information, contact Mary Grace Stefanchick, ASME Press, at (212) 591-7962 or by e-mail at stefanchikmasme.org.

How to Always Get a Response From Recruiters

How to Always Get a Response From RecruitersHow to Always Get a Response From RecruitersWhether youre an experienced job searcher or new to the market, youre probably aware that one of the best and quickest ways to getting in front of quality employers is via the services of a professional recruiter. The best recruiters, however, are highly sought after and are often inundated with hundreds of cold schmelzglass from candidates just like you who are looking to get a leg up in job hunting. With that in mind, heres a few funktelefon tips to Know Thy RecruiterConnecting with your recruiter in some manner other than a random cold call or email is a sure way to get you straight to the top of the recommendation list. Dont have a list of recruiter numbers ready to pull up in your rolodex or iPhone? Never fear There are other ways of reaching out.Interact on Social Media A LinkedIn connection or Twitter re-tweet will get your name in their recent memory, increasing your chances of having tha t email or phone call returnedNetwork Away Attending social functions such as meet and greets, cocktail hours and lunchtime educational talks are great ways to connect with recruiters. If youre following a recruiter online theyll often post and share their events ahead of time, providing valuable insights to where and when theyll be attending. Get a Referral Having an in is always a preferred method for making any kind of connection. Ask your friends who have worked with recruiters to refer you to someone reputable, vouching for your skills and expertise. Get Ahead of the Ball Waiting until just before youre ready to apply for a new position can seem a bit obvious. If you know youre interested in a new position, begin putting yourself out there well in advance, eliminating any appearance that youre insincere or, worse yet to a recruiter, waiting until the last minute to make a valuable connectionFollow Up is Key After the initial outreach or interaction, be sure to follow up to the position with a quick note in your cover letter or email introduction referencing how you previously met. With any luck you left a positive impression and a speedy response will be forthcoming.The Impersonal ApproachDespite your best efforts, there may be times when you need to reach out to a recruiter or HR hiring contact blindly. While not the most ideal of circumstances, necessity is the mother of invention and a quality position is worth a little additional effort in buchung to determine how to stand out from the swarm of other applicants. If you dont have the inside recruiting track, heres a few alternative methods that may go a long ways towards scoring you that interview or job offer.The Friend of a Friend Approach Whether on Facebook, LinkedIn or personal connection with coworkers or friends, utilizing the does anyone I know know you approach is a perfectly acceptable alternative. Think of this as the career-oriented equivalent of a referral and be sure to craft your em ail or other outreach with plenty of thanks and praise for your mutual connection.Common Interests If you dont have a personal interaction and no physical person to introduce you, try some quick reconnaissance on the recruiter or HR groups common professional interests. Often times you may be able to find someone with a similar educational background or professional membership that can give you the secret handshake, or at least a quick endorsement with a fraternal bent. When All Else Fails Make That Cold CallWhile everyone wishes for that scenario where they are awarded bonus points or an extra shot at getting noticed by the person in charge of funneling candidate picks, sometimes there isnt a realistic in. If you find yourself in the predicament of not being able to connect with the recruiter or hiring rep, theres no need for panic. A well crafted introductory email with a cover letter and concise resume chock full of experience still has a strong chance of getting reviewed.To inc rease your chances, be sure to apply early on in the hiring process, preferably soon after the listing or opening is posted. This will ensure that yours is among the first resumes reviewed and lessen the chances that another candidate has snuck in before you. In your email or cover letter, your first several sentences should directly address aspects of the job listing and apply your own relevant skills to specific traits. Dont forget to follow up within a reasonable time to show interest in the position and attention to detail. Finally, remember that if youre a strong candidate with applicable skills recruiters will be interested in you as a candidate, regardless of how they come about your resume. Persevere and apply for jobs in your field and youll be landing interviews and job offers in no time.